Friday, December 12, 2008

Terminated You, The Day After

It's now a day later.


You get up, everything seems the same. The sun still shines, rain is wet, the dog did what you didn't want it to do where it isn't supposed to do it.


Another day, yet it's different. You're now an ex-(title/position/doormat) of the ChumpChange Corporation. All your self-respect is as flat and dead as roadkill.


Your anger boileth over. Various thoughts of macabre revenge seep into your usual benign brainwaves. You really don't want to become a Ninja at this stage in your life. Way too much physical training.


Now is the time to cool out. Take a walk and contemplate the future, without that albatross of a company around your neck. There are much better ways to lead your life, try them.


Yes, there will be bills to pay. You might have to take a lesser job, do things you don't like. Just as long as you don't consider them to be the long-term answer to your situation.


Go back to school, even if it's online or at the library. Turn your hobby into a money-maker. Explore life.


You could sell everything and start off on a trip around the world.


I had a friend who walked across the USA. The entire distance. Didn't take any rides, even in the mountains and deserts. People were amazed that he would try something like that. It took almost a year, but he had experiences that will last a lifetime.


The main thing is to not get down on yourself. You might have brought on this termination or it might have been dropped on you by bad business practices or office politics.


The cause doesn't matter. What you do from here, that's the important thing.


As for ChumpChange Corporation?


They'll get their due, sooner or later, one way or another. Nothing, not even the biggest company, lasts forever.


You though, can now get on with your life.

Make the most of it!

(In a previous post, I suggest, jokingly, to call your boss on the following Monday and thank them for terminating you. It's probably not a good thing to do, what with companies all paranoid and tape-recording everything. They might use it against you in the future. It's a sad fact of life that you almost have to use your previous employer as a reference. Who can then 'spin' things. It's something that gives those HR managers the feeling that they can control your life.)

The Day Your Career Stood Still

Yes, it seems like the world has come to an end.

It has now come crashing down around you. Don't worry, it hasn't, it's only your temporary perception of it. Emphasis on 'temporary perception'.

You just got the news. They might have given you fair warning. More than likely someone showed up at your desk, gave you a few minutes to clean it out and pack up your personal effects, then you were escorted to the door. Jackboot to the seat of your pants, optional.

The shock might not have worn off yet. You’re still in a bit of a daze.
It’s OK. You’re OK. The world has not ended, just your job.

If your work is your world, as it is for many people, then you’re devastated, completely crushed. The problem is the realization that the so-called security of any job is an illusion. Nothing is promised or guaranteed. You’ll have to deal with it.

On the other hand, if you know that life doesn’t revolve around a job, but more importantly the work that you really love, you’ll be better than OK.

You’ll be free.

Free to do as you please, try those things that you didn’t have time for while you were obligated to show up and work for someone else.

No matter how you view this situation, as long as you get up in the morning and get to work, doing something you love, you’ll be fine.

If you think that you can go down to the unemployment office, have them sign you up and give you another security blanket, you’re only kidding yourself.

Respect yourself, be responsible for yourself and find something that you love to do, so you can enjoy your work.

Any job you do that’s a pain is not a career, it’s a prison.

Break out!

Take the chance and taste the freedom.

Give them that pink slip back, it doesn’t look good on you anyway…

Or just have some fun.

Call the ex-boss in a couple of weeks, first thing on a Monday morning.

Tell them, “Thanks for getting me out of there”.

Be polite.

It’ll drive them nuts wondering what you’re up to.

Don't worry, your former co-workers will be calling you, asking what the hell you did to freak out the boss.

Then go do something you love.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Teams Work or Don't: A Chapter from the Ordeals File

Teams are the big thing. Major buzz word in business. It’s easy to say, much harder to put into practice.

While an employee of Ordeals, I got to hear the sports jargon bandied about, cheer leading for the drones. On Sunday they watch a game, on Monday, they play the game. All rah, rah, rah for the old coach/boss/gypper, but performance? That might be another matter. Sugaring up the boss doesn’t count as work, nor does it appear on the bottom line. It does keep incompetents in their jobs.

The irony is that the concept of a ‘team’ is really rooted in the basic social structure, that of the family. Everyone needs to be able to work together, whether it’s to keep the house running or the business booming.

How well the specific team ‘performs’ is due to the management. Doesn’t matter if it’s a mom and pop shop or a Fortune 500 behemoth, bad management, bad decisions, usually equal bad return on investment. Failure is in the future.

To keep things going, you have to have all the team players buy into the goal. You get a slacker in a key position or a glory hog, whoops there goes the ball game!

How many people have you met that say they do a lousy job? Probably few, if any. Everyone tells about how hard they work, what rigors and trials they go through.

We all do it. Part of it’s recognition, the old ego-feed, having others acknowledge our work. Which is OK, as long as we don’t get obsessive about it. The other is self-satisfaction, knowing that you did a good job, without the need of public or company recognition.

No problem on either side. The problems come in when you have office politics. People saying, doing or creating situations strictly for their own advancement. Team first? Hah, not if they can figure out a way to make themselves look good. Who cares if it sinks the project?

They might, in the long run, when the client packs up their wallet and takes the job to a competitor.

An example of how dysfunctional a team can get, from the Ordeals File.

I needed a printer due to the volume of work I was churning out. When I used the office printer, it would bog down the work of the 30+ engineers in the office. Printing out a small 30 page manual wasn’t too bad. Cranking off a 300 to 400 plus page book could tie up the printer for an hour, if not longer.

After checking with my boss in the USA, I was given the OK to look for a new printer. Found one that would do the job, priced it and told the company. They balked, someone came up with the idea of shipping me an old printer from the USA. I was told to check with the local service company, find out what I would need to use it in the Netherlands.

The printer service rep told me that he wouldn’t touch the printer. It wouldn’t work, due to the different electrical configurations in Europe. I double checked it on the Internet. He wasn’t kidding, even the printer company website said it was a ‘no go’.

After relaying this info back to my boss, including the Internet link, I figured that I would receive authorization to get the new printer.

Nope, not going to happen. They wanted me to find out about getting a transformer to run the 110 volt printer on the 220 volt European system. They didn’t want to hear about the 50 and 60 Hertz difference. Which makes all the difference. Not to mention that the transformer was only about $20 less than the new printer.

Fast forward about a month. A large box is delivered to my desk. Inside is a ratty printer, stuffed, literally, with plastic peanuts. Whoever had packed it, probably the IT department, had not wrapped it in plastic and had gone so far as to stuff plastic peanuts into the delivery tray and into cooling slots.

My Dutch co-workers shook their heads in disbelief. For the next two hours, I took the printer apart and cleaned it up. Thanks for the ‘help’, computer support group. All enabled by cost defective management.

About 6 weeks after this, my boss and the project manager arrived for the annual ‘Spring Tour’. This consisted of meetings, eating, shopping and sightseeing. Rubes on tour, with maybe a little business thrown in, to make it a 'business expense' write-off.

After a meeting one afternoon, my project manager wanted to see the printer. He asked why it wasn’t hooked up and working. I was using it as a fifty pound paperweight and storage shelf.

My project manager stared at me and demanded, “You haven’t been saying bad things about our company, have you?”

I looked him in the eye and told him, “I haven’t said a word. People around here can see how things have been handled by ‘our company’.”

He then wanted to know why the printer wasn’t being used yet. I told him no one would provide service for it. I had a letter from the local printer service company to that effect. When I showed it to him, he ignored it.

He began to browbeat me about not following the orders of our company’s vice-president. I had been told to install the printer.

My reply was that the printer was a potential electrical hazard, due to the voltage and frequency differences. He didn’t like my answer, but he dropped the issue.

You don’t want to get into this type of no-win situation. My mistake was not going ahead and buying the transformer, hooking up the printer and either frying it or setting the office on fire when it burned up. That wouldn't have been my fault, would it?

This might not have happened, but at least I would have been following the ‘orders from on high’ of those who didn’t have a clue about what they were doing in this case.

In my opinion, the best way to handle a boss who is the armchair quarterback, but is in charge of running the team is to document his orders. Do as he says and when it comes unglued, talk to his boss, the big coach. Have a line of defense in place, witnesses help.

If that fails, read the message. It’s time to find another job. Too many people are working against you, not with you.

It’s not teamwork, it’s a gang slaying.

You’re the target.

(All examples in the Ordeals File are taken from my book, "Going Dutch, Trials of a Wage Slave")

Monday, December 1, 2008

The Ordeals File

Starting this month, I’ll focus on working outside the USA. This will be a series based on my experiences working in the USA and Europe for a company that I’ll call, ‘Ordeals’.

This company sent me to the Netherlands to work on a contract they had for outsourcing technical manuals for a client.

I was working in the client’s facility, in direct contact with people who had lost their jobs due to my company taking the literature contract. I didn’t make the decision to outsource the work, their management did. There was more than a little residual animosity.

My job was to get these people to help me do their company’s manuals. At the same time, I had to get my company to support me, from 3,000 miles away. Which was a bigger problem than working with the client’s downsized employees. The general consensus at Ordeals was that I was on vacation in Europe.

I must have missed that part, what with the 60-80 hour work weeks I was putting in at the site.

My aim is to keep this series humorous. It happened to me, but I don’t want it to happen to you.

Hope that you enjoy the laughs.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

To Turkeys, With Laughs

I read this on the Fortune site and thought that it was pretty funny!


http://askannie.blogs.fortune.cnn.com/2008/11/24/the-biggest-turkey-i-ever-hired


If you work in more than one place in your life, you'll probably get to work for some turkeys. It can't be avoided, they're everywhere.

Allow me, on this turkey day, to give you some examples.


I worked as a service writer in a Porsche-Audi dealership. The service manager knew nothing about cars, he was a retired Army sergeant*.

A mechanic cut out a large chunk of an Audi's body to make it easier to remove the engine. This weakened the car's body. I reprimanded him. The service manager backed him up and fired me!

Long story short, the customer sued, the mechanic got fired, the service manager lasted another 90 days and Porsche-Audi pulled the dealership franchise. I think the customer got a new car, but I'm not sure.

* I'm a military brat and have the utmost respect for those in uniform. He was in the wrong job at the wrong time.


I was hired to help open a new '$99.95 Car Paint'. One of the pay incentives was a production bonus for turning out more than a specific number of cars in a week. As assistant manager, one of my jobs was turning in the weekly production figures.

For a couple of weeks, my boss, the owner, told me that he had went ahead and done the paperwork for me. Which helped him cover up the fact that he was doing paint jobs on his friends, relatives and neighbors cars, without them going on the franchise records. Still, I felt sure that we had made bonus production.

When I opened the shop one Saturday, I couldn't find the copy paper for the copier. When I found the copier paper, I found the certificate from the franchise company with my name on it for making the bonus. I made a copy, put the original back. Never got paid for the bonus.

I quit the next month and went to Hollywood with my first screenplay.


If you go to the Ask Annie site, check out the link where employees get to talk about HR managers.

I don't know if it's posted or not, but I wrote about my experience with 'Ordeals', the tech writing company in my book.

IF it makes the Ask Annie blog, great.

IF NOT, then I'll write about it in the next post.

I don't know if HR stands for Human Resources or Helpless Rejects

Monday, November 3, 2008

Tactics for Employees - Keeping Records

You get hired by the company. It’s exciting, your first day on the job. Eager to make a good impression, you don’t want to anger anyone or make a mistake.

Don’t make the error of thinking that you shouldn't be covering yourself.

One of the most important things you can do is to keep a record of events.

You don’t have to note down everything, but the major stuff could help in the long run.

Keep a private record of your time.
Buy a notebook, even if it’s a small pocket one. DON'T use company materials.
Get in the habit of daily logging your hours.
Note anything unusual in the operation of the business.
Log instructions or comments by your co-workers or boss that could be considered illegal, immoral or anything else approaching questionable practices.

DON’T TELL ANYONE AT WORK YOU ARE DOING THIS!

Many companies will fire you for this type of activity. It’s very easy to get terminated without cause in many states.

When I worked as a technical writer, I used to keep a log of all the work I was doing on my desk. It was the only way I could track the different books, art requests, phone calls, etc. that was necessary for writing the books. Keep emails for at least a year after the project is completed.
I had one save my job and my company over $26,000 in rework when it proved that the client’s project manager had dropped the ball on giving me the proper title for the book I wrote for them.

When I was illegally fired, I took all my log books to court. It made the difference in my winning my court case. When the company appealed the court verdict, I won again in court.

As long as you keep your records, take them home with you and don’t use them to intimidate or harass co-workers, you will have a good line of defense.

Now, if you do lousy work, goof off and expect to have the records somehow clean up your act, you have another problem.

You’re dreaming.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

NO BUCS

This is posted on my other sites.

I'm more than a little angry about this 'bailout' deal!


NO BUCS!

Welcome to the roller -coaster ride of Wall St. No suicides, homicides or bailouts allowed. Please keep your hands and feet inside the car, sticking your neck out is optional. Just as long as it’s not mine.

Remember, that it’s all about your perception of ‘credit‘. None of the ‘money’ on Wall Street is real, it’s all paper tiger trash. All tangible assets will still be there tomorrow. Your house and city won’t disappear overnight.

This ‘financial meltdown’ is being done to keep you from real issues; lost jobs, wage, health care, and pension erosion, immigration and the wars on drugs and terror. All of which have contributed to this credit, mortgage and bank dilemma.

The root causes of this crisis is deregulation by the government.

There is a simple solution to this problem. It’s listed below and will pay for itself.

1) Immediate levy of an 80% tax on all incomes over 10 million per year.
Tax rate to adjust down to 30% per $100,000. These rates to be in effect for the next four years. If you made big bucks, you should pay big bucks, no exceptions.

EXAMPLE: Rush Limbaugh will have to ‘get by’ on about $27 million from the $105 million that he’s paid. Either amount is ‘lottery’ money to the average American.

Big actors will ‘take home’ 4 million out of their usual 20 million movie salary. Tough, but they’ll survive. Sell a yacht or an extra house. Taxes were higher than this in the 1950’s for millionaires.

2) Immediate 10% reduction on all government contracts. No exceptions. ‘No-bid’ contracts to be reviewed for revision and imposition of limitations.

3) Immediate 10% reduction on all elected officials salaries in the government (Executive, House of Representatives and the Senate) Since they can’t do their jobs, they deserve a pay cut. They’re lucky we can’t fire them outright.

4) Immediate yearly bonus cap for ALL employees, agents, managers or officers of companies, not to exceed 10% of annual salary. No adjustments or exclusions. This to include shares of stock or any other investment instrument.

5) Price gouging fine of 25%, minimum, on all excess profits from market manipulation for any ‘vital necessity’; such as: energy (oil, gas, propane, coal, electricity, etc.), food, health care and products, and clothing. A temporary price cap to be put into place as penalty for a 3-6 month period.

6) 90 Day moratorium on mortgage rates, to be extended as needed, on a monthly basis. This will allow the market to stabilize over the winter, which is a slow time for sales.

7) Minimum 50% equity share in every business that requests assistance from the government. Government to be first to recover investment when asset is liquidated or there is a return on profits.

8) Immediate freeze on stock market. Declare a ‘stock market holiday’ until 6 October for legislation to be enacted, based on proposed actions listed above.

IF no action is taken on a fair and comprehensive restructuring of the financial system, then:

ALL AMERICANS SHOULD STAY HOME ON 7 OCTOBER 2008 TO REMIND THE COMPANIES AND THE GOVERNMENT WHO REALLY RUNS THIS COUNTRY!
IT’S ‘WE THE PEOPLE’!

October 7, 2008, is the 243rd anniversary of the Stamp Act Congress.
One of the first attempts to insure the rights of citizens of America. Look it up, read about it, learn our history.

TAKE ACTION TODAY; CALL, EMAIL OR WRITE CONGRESS!

We trust in our government to manage our money and provide for our security. When they don’t, we the people must assert our rights to demand proper service.

The proposal above is not perfect, nor complete. It’s an outline of what needs to be done, without putting the entire burden on the average American.

NO BUCS!
NO BAILOUT for UPPER CLASS SWINDLERS!

Please forward this email to all your friends!
30 September 2008 Thomas L. Segerson

Friday, September 19, 2008

01 Wage Slave

Welcome to the fun!

Everyone works at something, whether it's play or employment. Some are lucky enough that their employment is more play than work. Others, finding that they have obligations, allow themselves to be saddled and ridden into the ground. They never find that strength to bust loose and follow their star.

This blog is for all those who have become slaves to a wage. Working to keep things together, food on the table and heat in the house. It's difficult for all of us. Some of us have found a way out of this quagmire, too many will give up, allow themselves to sink into it.

Don't give up hope!

That's the key thing that I can tell you. In the darkest days of my life, I've always fought back, trying to build from whatever shred was left of my dream.

Look at the small things in the universe.
The power that comes from splitting an atom.
The life that is created from an egg and a sperm.

Each has their own, special energy to them.

Destructive and Creative.

What will you use your energy for?


No matter what place in society you occupy, you serve someone, some group or an ideal.

The leader of the most powerful nation on Earth serves his country and his people.

Determine that which is worth dying for because to live your life for nothing makes it a lost cause. Only you can determine what is of value.

Slaving for a wage, doing that which you hate, is no way to spend your life.

I've done it. I don't recommend it.

When you like your work, you enjoy your life.

It's a balancing act. Your own personal high wire routine.

You can't lose, even if you fall.

Because no matter what, you did it your way.